Tag Archives: life lessons

My Landslide of Grief

There are times when you suffer many losses during a short amount of time. Usually the losses are similar to the ones listed. Not often do you experience the death of significant people in a short amount of time. It does happen, but not often.

It is a series like this that people will state that they “haven’t recovered” from all those close deaths. You could meet someone ten years later and they will still mention this series of deaths that they were unable to get through. You realize that the pain is still causing them emotional distress. This mountain of grief is difficult to manage for any person. Ideally, they could process the loss of one person at a time until they have resolved a major portion of their overall grief. Most people won’t do this. They will continue to look at the entire group of losses and remain unable to recover emotionally.

We have stated many times that no event is intended to undo you. Each event is a lesson. You needed to learn a variety of things from one loss and then be prepared for any future losses. The culmination was meant to be lessons learned not a pile of grief added to the current pile.

I have experienced a lot of grief in the past three months. My family had to euthanize a guinea pig after struggling to heal him from a tumor removal. We made the decision to end his suffering but our grief was monumental. He was very much a part of the family.

Then I lost a dear aunt after a short illness. It was expected but still painful. We lost her sister only 1 year ago. So this is a good example of layering. Recently, our hamster died. We struggled to care for him but we could not save him from illness.

We have lost several community members in close procession. People I knew and people I knew of. Many younger than you would expect. We had one mother lose three sons within a year. One in his late 30’s from a medical problem, one in his late 20’s from an overdose and the most recent one in his early 30’s of an overdose.

Then, of those community members, I lost a male cousin who was only 55 to a massive heart attack. He was only 2 years older than me and this was completely unexpected. His brother is currently in the late stages of lung cancer and will die soon at the age of 53. So that will be two deaths in one family within a month. Both far too young.

We have lost nearly 10 people in our small reservation community in the past 3 months.  With 2 more quickly approaching death.

I’m at a loss for words. I haven’t posted for a while because of this mind-numbing trend. Perhaps I don’t yet embrace the lessons that were intended. Maybe I am not listening. Perhaps I don’t have an open-mind.

I work with many people who have lost someone. It is almost too numerous to mention. But what is our lesson? What do we need to learn as a community?

Two died of overdoses so this obviously speaks to drug awareness, prevention and intervention. Many died from complications of Diabetes. This is something that any native community deals with. The people who died of heart disease may also be attributed to Diabetes. Then two people died of cirrhosis. With lifelong alcohol abuse, their bodies shut down and they succumbed. We also have a higher rate of alcoholism so complications are common in our community.

No one remembers a time when we have suffered so many losses this close together. When I ask spirit, “why?” I get one word, “renewal.”  If you lived here, knew the members of this community and suffered this many losses close together, what does renewal mean? No one has found the answer, including me.

I will keep searching. My impression is that I don’t have enough distance from the pain yet. With some amount of healing I will listen and learn what renewal means and how this happens in my own community. I will hear more words from spirit and will resist shutting down in exasperation. I will find some solace and allow my heart to heal.

This is why I am here. I am a messenger but for now I don’t really know what the message is.

I have faith. I understand there are intended lessons. I understand that we are meant to be brought close together without any boundaries between us. We have all been touched by drug, alcohol, medical and accidental deaths. Some losses were expected and others were not. Sometimes death does not just touch the elderly.

There are times when a loss happens and you have time to find your faith and get through it. There are other times when losses happen so close together that coping simply means getting through one day at a time.

We will find out what renewal means and we will do it together. You may be able to place your finger on the truth now while I am still simply trying to manage. The messenger has some learning to do.

Sympathy and Empathy

People often ask how to be a better person? It is always a simple answer. If you look at the behavior, thinking and intentions of anyone you may see that they are basically positive or negative. This may be easier for you to decide about other people since you would tend to be objective. If you are asked about your own overall wellness and positivity, you would tend to split hairs, justify certain behavior and make excuses. You would be offended by someone’s quick assertions about you.

Basically, if you do good things and have a positive attitude, you are a good person. If you harm people intentionally, steal, lie, manipulate and live without sympathy/empathy for anyone, you are a bad person. Any action may be assessed in this manner. It is much like a judge in a court of law. This person will accept descriptions, facts, information and testimony then make a determination. This is also how the Universe decides what your energy vibration is. Just the facts.

What does your behavior say about you without any excuses or explanations?

This is a difficult way to look at you. In your current world you have a list of reasons and explanations for your behavior. You are depressed, you are reacting to something, you are getting back at someone, you are jealous, you have trauma in your past… There are so many layers for why you act, feel and behave in a certain way.

If you are happy, well-adjusted, flexible and self-determined you rarely act out against others. You may have thoughts of vengeance but why would you go through with it when everything is good in your life? Your own flexibility takes over and you move on to much more interesting and positive things. The people who seek vengeance and actively sabotage people in their lives usually have a lower vibration. They are dark. They see no benefit to responding to stress in a positive manner. They move from one conflict to another and try to get the better of anyone who they feel is in their way or have spoken out or acted out against them.

Their darkness varies. Some people are very dark and evil. Other people are grey, darker grey or intermittently dark. You have been in contact with truly evil people. They make you cringe and you go the other way ASAP. You get a creepy feeling and perhaps your skin feels like it is crawling. Some are described as having dead eyes. You see no emotion or feeling in their gaze. Or, they may look right through you.

What you may not actually know is where you are on the continuum of energy vibration. Are you mostly good or mostly bad? Making an assessment about your own behavior will be difficult because of your explanations and justifications. Make your best effort to decide where you stand on a scale of 1- 10.

Be honest and then go about raising your vibration. No excuses, explanations or justifications. Simply good behavior or bad behavior. Be a nice, supportive and friendly person. View your actions alone. You don’t get this yet, we know. Why would we negate all of your past experiences in reference to how you interact with the world today? Because you are an adult and you must overcome adversity and find goodness in yourself and others.

This is also how we answer the damnation question. If you are a higher vibration person, you cross over and dwell in the upper 5 levels of the Afterlife. Those who have a lower vibration cross over and find themselves in the lower 2 levels.

Why would you knowingly behave in ways where you may end up in the lower levels? The extensive list of questions about how to get away with as much as possible and still not go to Hell was eye opening. It seemed like a very childlike agenda. Can I cheat on my spouse if they deserve it? If my mom did not properly care for me as a child do I have to take care of her now that she is older and sickly? Is harming someone in the name of religion still wrong? Again, look at the action and not the backstory. Harming others, stealing money, lying, cheating, violence… is never OK. If you cannot get past what has occurred between you and the other person than the only thing you can do is walk away. Do no harm and seek no vengeance. This action will increase your vibration.

It is the acting out in harmful ways that lowers your vibration. It is best to not have the darker thoughts as well but the important thing is to not act upon them. Then, work on yourself every day to resist having the darker thoughts as well. Have you noticed that we did not take into account the layers of why, who and what? It is the thoughts and actions, not the backstory.

Enter the concepts of sympathy and empathy. These considerations are for others, not you. Rate your own actions according to how you influence or impair another. If you have no need for sympathy and empathy, then your path is much longer. If you are able to embrace your potential influence upon others, you are much closer to a resolution.

Meet all of your darker thinking and overcome them. Being an independent adult who is self-directed means that you are accountable for your thoughts and actions. You may have been seriously harmed yet God expects you to overcome and offer the Universe love and forgiveness. You are absolved for your sins as well. This is a global event. Everyone is eligible for absolution unless you are dark and treat others with dark thoughts, behaviors and actions.

It is very simple. There is no ambiguity. Your vibration determines your life experience and where you cross over to in the afterlife.

Yeah But…

Many of you still are offended that finding your mate, partner or soul love is not the extent of your existence. We will try to reframe our discussion so it makes more sense.

Think of your life in perspective. You were in spirit form and you identified specific experiences that you wanted to learn from. Love is a goal but it is not the be all end all. Love is included in your life chart but is not the culmination of it.

Remember the stages of development. You learn to trust or mistrust…

At some point you learn about love. Love of self. Love of family. Love of friends. You begin at your center and you learn to project this emotion outward. You either have reassurance and confirmation about love or you don’t. You may be safe to love family but have a hard time to find lovable friends. Or you may be able to project an unlimited amount of love outward without concern or repercussions.

These steps take time. depending upon the stability and support of your nuclear family, you are able to find more outlets for love. If you live in dysfunction or turmoil, less love is available to you and you mistrust the love that you have. Your actual life experience with love will vary from person to person.

Imagine being in a loving, emotionally stable home. You feel love and receive affirmations and support. In this instance, romantic love will come to you more easily. You don’t have the trust issues that many others your age have. Now imagine being in a family of turmoil. This makes even self-love difficult. It is less likely that you will find true love and be able to project it outward into the world to find romantic love and love of the world in general. Most of you fall in between these two extremes, which is normal.

By now you may have evaluated where you fall on this continuum. If you have trust issues, your goal of romantic love seems very important to you. It is something you have longed for. You may not realize all of the steps that were taken in your life for you to be uncertain of love, but you really want someone for your own. You also want someone who is “perfect” and “completes” you. At this point, this goal is not likely. You have many issues and concerns that have blocked your ability to form a healthy ability to love. Finding Mr./Ms. Perfect is very slim. You have more roads to travel than the person with the loving, stable base for their life.

To you this may seem unfair but, you wrote it. You have had many lifetimes of great love. You have had several children or none at all. You struggled with money or were financially independent. You suffered a severe illness or lived a long life and died of old age. All of this has been your reality. Putting your desire for romantic love must be placed in perspective. This life may not be about finding someone special. There may be a mountain of others things that you intended to do.

Even the emotionally stable person may find it difficult to find someone special. The search is difficult if you didn’t have a stable background in which to learn about love. If your goal is truly to find a healthy, stable love then you must do the work. Resolve your past issues and concerns. Release your need to hold grudges and be right all the time. Learn to value people because they are different and sometimes challenging. Open your mind and accept that your next love may be a work in progress just as you are. No one is perfect, including you.

Discover what expectations you have that are actually blocking your ability to find love. Take that list and do the work. There is no magical potion. Work through your own issues and then find someone you are able to function with on a healthy level. There are ups and downs. There are conflicts. There are always unmet expectations. Work with them. Make changes and compromise.

Respect begets respect. If you are abusing drugs, stealing, lying and trying to manipulate everyone…you will NOT find a healthy love. If you are angry and controlling, you will also not find a healthy love. If you are clingy and needy, guess what? You need to do the work. Make changes and find a higher level of functioning, then look for love.

You admire many people. You see that they are happy and deeply in love. You may envy them. The difference between you and them is what was written in your charts. They charted a loving, committed relationship and they followed their chart until they found it. You are midway. You have a longer walk and many issues to resolve before you find what they have.

Are there differences between their behavior and yours? Likely. They have learned to successfully manage a relationship. They have learned to budget, problem solve, parent, work, have leisure activities, good health… They have mutual respect and appreciation. That, or they are lying to everyone!

Resolve some past issues and concerns. Free up your potential to meet loving, friendly, emotionally stable people. Did you meet someone in a bar? Well then they act like they belong in a bar don’t they? Make love your goal, but make your intention to get healthy and find the love that you can stay healthy with.

Being able to follow your chart and complete the experiences that you have chosen is what this life is about. You may not have charted a romantic love this time around. What seems to be true is that you want to diminish or dismiss your actual life goals in order to find someone to be with, whether they are positive, emotionally healthy and well-intentioned people or not. This view is short sided at best. You may mature with age and find other goals regarding life and humanity or you may not and still only focus upon your love, wealth and status.

The disconnect happens when you feel that some mistake has been made. You certainly believe that your chart includes a passionate, lifelong love and not something about charity or world health. You could not have been so narrow-minded in spirit to NOT include that sizzling love affair. What you really want is to derail your chart, relentlessly pursue love and wonder why your life seems so empty. It feels empty because you are not on your path.

Love is not what you came here to focus on and some mistakes must have been made. “Who do I speak to so I can rewrite this?” No one. You may write your chart for your next incarnation after you have returned home. And, while in Divine spiritual form you will again realize that finding your “soul mate” is not what life is about. Good luck with that.

Working Toward Your True Life

The thought of spending years of your life not on your path is startling to some. Others…not so much. People have said that if you question whether you are on your path or not means that you are. Basically, if you were not spiritually aware that you actually have a life chart you would not know to question if you are on it. Your awareness is a big key to your spiritual development. Many people are blissfully unaware that there are very real goals to each life.

You have spent many lives in varying states of existence. In some you were wealthy, business oriented, a medical practitioner, a religious leader… Then in some lives you were addicted to drugs and/or alcohol, abusive, manipulative, a bad parent, a thief, a murderer… Each of those lives had a set list of goals to be experienced and learned from. You were in life to teach others by example or by contrast. Then, after returning “home” you formulated another life or lifetimes in which to learn the goals that you left undone or to pick up where you are on the list of life goals that you already have established. Each life is lived to learn a complete set of experiences from positive or negative influences. You have not had only “bad” or “good” lives. You have had both types in varying degrees.

So, the fact that you wonder about being on your path is awesome. In this life you have experienced and learned to a point where you believe in God and understand that there are “guides” in life. You don’t have to see someone to know that they are helping you. All of these are leaps of faith. This is good. You have arrived here, on this site, to seek answers for your spiritual questions. We have arrived, on this site, to give you those answers. You are able to accept our truth by hearing, contemplating and accepting it or not. Some of it resonates with you now and some of it will resonate with you at another time in life.

Our hope is to give you information that you are able to understand and accept. There are a wide variety of topics to review and We try our best to respond to your current life questions.

Our current topic is your life chart, life purpose or path. Sadly, many of you avoid your path because it is challenging, emotionally painful or difficult to understand. This is a list of suggestions for you to help narrow down and understand your current life goals. Please refer to this list at different times because your goals now will not be your goals in 2 years. These suggestions, however, will be still relevant in helping you to discover your goals at any time.

  1. If asked, what is the most painful aspect of your life? This may be emotional or physical. This is the most important issue to address.
  2. Is your inner dialog positive and motivational or despondent and negative?
  3. List all of your emotions and thoughts about this one topic. Begin to respond to this concern with a positive perspective and uplifting inner dialog. Perhaps post your list in an area where it will remind you to always take the high road.
  4. Do some research and discover if the world already has solved this problem. If this is medical, what are the most effective treatments? If this is emotional, what is the process other people have taken to recover?
  5. List the steps to treatment or the steps taken to cope and work through them. Be open-minded and truly give each step a good chance to work. Use trusted medical professionals or behavioral counselors if necessary. You may need professional help for an accurate diagnosis.
  6. Include God and the Divine in your process. Understand that you have an advantage if others who have suffered similar problems did not believe in God or another higher power.
  7. Write or remember some daily prayers. Include what you are dealing with and your desire for Divine help. Do not tell your guides or God exactly how to help you. Leave it up to them and understand that by giving specific instructions you will render your Divine help useless.
  8. Resolving emotional concerns is a process. Over time you may find a better perspective. Addressing this issue may carry less pain each time you revisit your list. Allow this healing to occur. There are no good reasons to cling to issues that have caused you emotional pain. Learn the lessons intended and move on. You may forgive but still be cautious when dealing with this same issue in the future.
  9. Understand that it is essential to blend Western Medicine, Eastern Medicine and Earth-based healing with spirituality.It is not recommended that you address your concerns with prayer and faith alone. Even God works through the hands of doctors and other health care professionals.
  10. Understand that God and your other helpers are unable to handle everything for you. There are many obstacles which may be removed through prayer or just by asking. But, the learning is actually yours to complete. You may however ask for increased insight, understanding and improved coping skills in order to assist you.

Please remember not to take back control over your issues at hand. Once you have done this, God, angels, saints and spirit guides will be left unable to help. Faith is literally having faith. Not faith up to a point. Do your part. See a counselor, doctor, energy healer… and then give it to God.

Each concern on your list may be addressed in this manner. Once you have resolved some of the bigger challenges in life, you will have more freedom to find your path. You will decrease the distractions until you have enough faith and perspective to be grounded to your life chart.

Stay away from materialistic goals. These are of little consequence unless you volunteer, give to charity, help those less fortunate and sponsor proactive changes in your family, neighborhood and community. There is a place for money and it is to offer aid to those who have very little or none.

The Rush of Your Chart

What have you chosen to be? Have you had enough time to think about it? Do you need my help? We all struggle with our own self-expression, but to align more closely with your chart you would release many of your unnecessary distractions.  All matters would seem to fall into place. Often We say that your life would seem charmed, but this is the truth of it.

Being in alignment feels very different than what you are used to experiencing. Your vision will become crystal clear and vivid. You may feel taller. It will seem like you are towering over everyday items like you may have grown a foot taller. Even looking into a mirror will seem different.

You may have tunnel vision. Meaningless distractions will be dismissed quickly. You will hone in on important matters. Your thoughts will be effective and streamlined. It will feel like you have gotten a lot of things done.

The downside is that you may have less patience for communicating with others who are not in alignment with you. It may seem like they will have limited understanding about what you are saying and you might be better off if you skip the conversation altogether. You may feel like some people are wasting your time.

You may also become lightheaded. Your perception may seem to swirl a little different than usual. Almost like your timing is a little bit off. You may also get a feeling like time is passing more quickly. It may feel like you are ten steps ahead of where you actually are. This is where the tunnel vision will possibly cause you to become dizzy. Looking forward may resemble the environment leaping toward you.

The good news is that these feelings are temporary. It may be like a boost to your knowledge and understanding, then returning to normal. It will be very helpful to be grounded. The discomfort would be minimized if you were anchored to God and Mother Earth. The best way to look at it is that you are on or very near who you are intended to be.

Those enlightened moments must be celebrated. You have done your work and you are making progress. You may actually feel close enough to Heaven to touch it. Your heart will leap when you feel all of this. This moment of clarity will give you a glimpse of true grace. Your departed loved ones will be very near to you. It will feel like you have found the perfect wavelength and your loved ones will gather for you. All at once, it all makes sense and it is vibrationally perfect.

If you remember the rush of an amusement park ride, this is so similar. Brief, yet perfect. If you have ever had those moments in life where you are doing everyday, non-eventful things and you realize that you don’t remember every minute of your trip. Your mind went somewhere. It may have felt surreal or dreamlike. This is exactly what it feels like.

We will work the next few posts on finding your chart and allowing your purpose to manifest. It will be exciting and stimulating. You may need some more practice meditating, so keep trying and We will catch up to you in time.

The Magic of Family

Many people say that you can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family. That is not exactly right. We have chosen our family, through many generations in fact. We are composed of a soul group. We have been parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles… for each other for many generations.

We have intricate karmic relationships with each other. We have experienced positive and negative life circumstances repeatedly. Spirit often states that both positive and negative events are intended to teach us. We may simply say our family dynamics are both positive and negative, possibly at the same time.

We are the closest friends on the Other Side. We know each other intimately. We have been both male and female. We also chose to teach each other in death. The entire lifespan of our relationships have been carefully orchestrated. Some of our lives mirror each other by intention. Which makes sense if we have the same parents, grandparents… Then, at other times, we are the exact opposite despite our shared lives.

Some negative traits are carried through families as well. Drug and alcohol abuse tends to occur in subsequent generations. So does depression, bi-polar disorder, and psychotic illnesses. We learn much of our dysfunction from our parents or the primary care giver in our youth. If they did not have healthy coping skills, then we also may not. We also were aligned by wealth. If our grandparents were wealthy then it was more likely that we were also raised with money. It is also true that if our grandparents had money then some cycle of dysfunction began which lead to the loss of wealth. Whatever our previous generation dealt with somehow influenced us. There is a pattern.

We are not lost to the irony of your human lives. The heaviness and negativity of the earth is exactly why you chose to live here. There is a challenge in relationships that many of you cannot possibly escape. You were destined to go through this drama because you had an agreement with your closest souls.

This is one of the most frustrating realities that humans may struggle to accept. Your life is Divine and you are eternal. Your earth life is a series of challenges intended to teach you. By taking each moment of every day and expecting it to be the sum total of your existence, you lay too much importance upon it. People live well, are sad, get sick, graduate college, die alone, stay well, die poor, work a trade, are happy, build a home, have close family, are solitary, find God … all in different lives. Yes, but what did that teach you? It is that simple.

Embrace each moment of every day and ask God what more do you have to learn? “I learned __________ from my youth but chose _________ as something spiritually successful as I age.” “My father taught me________ and I built upon it for my children to learn from.” “My grandfather drank alcohol and was verbally abusive. My mother abuses alcohol as well. I chose to _____________.” “My grandmother was poor after my grandfather died. I have a retirement account and life insurance so my family will be ok.” Who better to learn from than those closest to you? You not only witnessed change but you experienced it as well. Life taught you by putting you through it and your family agreed to be part of the process.

Life is positive and negative and so are your family members. Learn from someone who is making good decisions and learning life lessons. And, learn the opposite of what your family members with poor coping skills have chosen to do. These lessons are very intimate because you have an emotional connection to the person whose learning.

Embrace the committment that you have made to each other. Walk this part of the trail together and learn from their success and failure. We care enough to struggle or celebrate with each the other. Love survives many relationship stressors. Even if you don’t love the person you are related to, they are still here to learn from. There are also times when you cannot be in contact with those you love out of dysfunction. You may still want the best for them but cannot accept the damage that they brought upon you. This is ok. You may make that decision for yourself. God always knows your heart. You are never asked to be abused just because you are related to someone.

Life is about finding love, peace and success. You aligned all of your family in order to teach you effectively. Each of you had the strength to commit to this together. Honor the part of them which provided you the most good and forgive the rest. You don’t have to be in an abusive relationship but you can still forgive. This is good for your soul. Hate or holding a grudge is not the lesson that you intended for each other.

Approach life knowing the truth about each day. You are the author and you charted this for your own growth and for the chance to teach those you love as well. This is about your soul and the souls of your dearest loved ones when you are on the Other Side. Of course they taught you the hardest lessons! That is just like them!

Deeper Trauma

It seems that we must travel further down the darkened path for some of you to be able to face traumatic events in your past. This is ok. There is no judgment here. We only wish for you to heal and prosper. We will do what is necessary to help you recover.

Let us begin with parents who suffered from substance abuse during your childhood years. Right now you may not see the lessons held within this situation. All you see is abuse and neglect that you suffered from parents who behaved unpredictably. While sober they were sullen, angry and short-tempered. When drunk or high they were unavailable and reckless. Their actions made no sense and their behavior was embarrassing. You felt at risk of a great many things and you were punished if you spoke to someone outside of the home seeking help. You learned how to lie about your injuries and lack of parental support. You grew up way too fast and were responsible for too many adult responsibilities. When you cried out, you were met with disdain.

Some of you may have had angry, abusive parents. This may or may not have had roots in substance abuse. There were angry words and excessive punishments. They used the “strap” or the wooden spoon. It seemed like all of the children were punished for the same mistake. Everyone was berated and oppressed. You may have had bad grades. It was your fault even though no one helped you with homework or provided supplies for that science project. Somehow it was all of your fault. Their reasonings made no sense. They logic went from having a problem to you needing punishment. There were no logical steps in between. You learned how to be sneaky and attempt to have some joy in life without drawing your parents attention. You covered for their beatings and made excuses for their behavior. You relished the times when you went to see your grandparents or that loving aunt. You wished upon stars that life would find comfort and happiness instead of pain and condemnation.

Others of you were neglected. You had little to no supervision. Your parents were absorbed with their own lives or they suffered from substance issues. Maybe they had to work multiple jobs to keep the household going. YOU had to make your life work. You made sure you had food and clothes to wear. You were overly responsible for your age. You may have been a guardian for your younger siblings or your older siblings were responsible for you. There was no one to go to for comfort or support. Life seemed unbearably lonely. You envied the lives of your classmates. At times you spent too much time visiting neighbors or family members. You wanted some type of “family” for yourself.

There may have been sexual abuse. You were unsafe and vulnerable. It was something you didn’t understand and yet there was no one to ask about it. You cried out and wondered why no one could tell how much pain you were in. How did the adults in your life miss all those red flags you were waving? You acted out. Still no one knew why. It was like screaming without any sound coming from your mouth. Why was this happening? Is this normal? Why do I feel so dirty? Then MAYBE you were courageous enough to tell someone. Then what? They didn’t believe you, they ignored your situation because they didn’t want to deal with it, or they were supportive but yet unhelpful. This felt like a prison sentence that you didn’t deserve.

How do we learn and grow from such desperate life circumstances? Where is the upside to any of these tragic events? How may we heal from such deeply painful experiences?

It is difficult to understand the “purpose” of these life circumstances. Much has to do with having faith. We often feel responsible for the unhappy times in our lives. Even as children we felt we somehow deserved to be beaten, neglected or abused. There may not have been any answers about how and why. If we find faith we KNOW something bigger than ourselves. There is a plan at work. We are a part of a sequence of events that was predetermined before we incarnated.

In time we learn that these life lessons were invaluable. We know how to keep our children safe and supervised. We attend the parent-teacher conferences. We buy the supplies for the science project and help our child build the best model. We listen to their thoughts, feelings and fears. We know that our child needs to be heard and understood. We do our best to own our behavior with regard to anger, substances, punishment and consequences.

Or…we do as we lived and repeat all of the same destructive parent-behavior that we experienced in our lives.

If you don’t have children it is possible to love and support others who are experiencing some of the same issues that you survived or were a witness to. You now understand neglect, loneliness, abuse, sexual assault or ongoing abuse, dealing with addicted family members, divorce, dropping out of school, underage pregnancy… You are the teacher for improved coping skills and managing traumatic life events. You have seen others attempt sobriety. You have known people who went to jail or suffered other legal complications from poor life choices. You are now the expert in so many areas of life.

It may be difficult to understand now but with maturity you will learn that your battle scars are what make you strong and wise. You are still here in life. Somehow you managed to get through some stressful times. You may have suffered from substance abuse, destructive behavior, promescuity, anger, depression and anxiety. You found your way to this point and you are still looking for ways to make your life better. You ARE a success. No one else has survived exactly how you did. You are smart, resourceful and you still have hope.

It was never between you and “them.” It was always about you and God.

Truly. Your actual self is an expanding, perfect soul with a list of lessons to learn and master. There is something larger than you. The Universe does exist and we are growing very quickly at this time. You are here and you want to learn. Your heart aches because of what you endured but there are so many more positives BECAUSE of what you endured.

Release any pain or injury. ALLOW God and let go of any need for vengeance. Your mother was playing her role. Your uncle agreed to make your life challenging. Your best friend contracted to try to help but to lack understanding. Your grandmother was supposed to turn her back. Your brother charted his life to be overwhelmed by substance abuse and negatively influence everyone in your household. Your life was tragic BECAUSE you are strong enough to survive it.

There is a saying about God never giving you more than you can handle. The truth is also that you never charted anything that you were unable to handle as well. Celebrate your success. Acknowledge and accept your ability to overcome great adversity.

If this concept does not yet resonate with you, that is ok as well. This universal truth will still be here when you are ready to look at your life as a series of successful challenges. There is no judgment. We love and accept you as you are now and we give you our support. Perfection is NOT a goal in life, but survivng is. And, you have survived quite beautifully!