Tag Archives: abuse

The Blessed Journey Within

Finding God does not take a trip of a thousand footsteps. You merely have to look inside to find HIM.

Why do you feel that faith is something that you find somewhere? Your soul has all of the necessary information on God and life that you will ever need. Looking outside of yourself may be a deterrent to finding those “truths” that you know exist.

You don’t live life inside of yourself. This would accomplish nothing. You must balance what happens around you and what is in your soul. To initially find your faith you must touch upon it where it resides in your God Center. This is in your solar plexus or the area behind the tip of your sternum.

Often advice comes suggesting you follow your heart or what you have determined to be factual in your mind. These two energy centers may not give you the most accurate information. Emotions cloud much of the information that spirit may provide to you. It is this fact that skews your guidance.

Emotions will keep you actively involved in negative loops of thinking and behavior. If you are in an abusive relationship will you leave and get safe if you follow your heart? No. You will likely stay because you love that person. You love them enough to keep forgiving them over and over again. What does your mind say about this? Whatever you choose to tell yourself. Your self-talk may be keeping you in this relationship as well. “I love him, he will change, and she made a promise this time… I know she will change for me.” Either your heart or your mind has not provided you with truthful information.

You will be chasing emotions for the rest of your life but this will not get you anywhere. The truth is in your God Center. Touch your fingers to the lower portion of your sternum. Be still and meditative if possible. Find that truth that is there. To know you have successfully made a connection to your true self you will feel a sense of calm and knowing.

This knowledge is based in truth so there is no emotion attached to it. This is also a good state to be mindful. In this inner connection you find truth and stability that you may have not known before. Emotion makes you run here or there, become upset with what is and mood swings from euphoria to desolation. This is not spiritual health. This is being a slave to your emotions.

Have you found that you haven’t made any real progress by following your emotions? If you make decisions by what mood you are in, there is no authentic motivation. These decisions may leave you feeling empty, lost or alone. You may also feel like you never get ahead. It may be like climbing a mountain of fine sand. You have images of never reaching the top.

Your chart is in your God Center. Your guides and God are there too.

If you find your mind whirls with chatter, who are you actually listening to? Most of the time it is your own inner voice. Occasionally it is a guide or other Divine being. Sometimes it is a ghost or earthbound spirit who offers you useless or upsetting information. There are darker beings that may invade your mind but that would take a skilled seer to discover this. NEVER go to someone who has no training or background in dealing with attachments or nefarious spirits. This will only deepen your struggles.

Information given to you that is frightening is not a spirit guide. Genuine guidance from spirit guides is matter-of-fact. They are verbally blunt and expressionless. This emotionless exchange is true. You always have to remember how you felt the moment you received the information. Why? Because you will add emotion, fear, excitement, dread, hopelessness… It may be helpful to write it down so when your mind or heart begins to add layers of nonsensical information you may reconnect with how you felt when you originally became aware of the information. Weed out the mind/heart interference and remember what the genuine message was.

Receiving genuine guidance may not make you very popular. You tend to become matter-of-fact as well. Things make sense and seem obvious. You have a direct line to what your intuition states from this life and perhaps a few others. This unquestionable “knowing” may irritate those you deal with. They may feel that you are uncaring or a know-it-all. They may also mistake your mental strength and stability as some type of personality disorder. You really want people to know that you love them and offer support, care and nurturing. You are not an emotionless robot so do not present yourself as one. This is one caveat. Remember to offer love and support because when others are still dealing from their heart or mind they will not comprehend your God Center directness. Find truth but remember how to love.

Have you known spiritual leaders to seem arrogant or lofty? This is that caveat that we make reference to. You may have profound faith and dedication to God but still seem unapproachable or distant. This really doesn’t help you or anyone else. Life does not occur in a vacuum. You need information from within AND still participate in life. This is one of your life goals.

To be lofty and above all others will make your soul group connections diminish. You will seem to travel in isolation. You may only communicate with others who have your same lofty beliefs. Then what good are you doing for your loved ones, family and community? Be a real person with a direct connection to God. Remain humble and stay connected to loved ones. Be aware that they are still dealing in terms that you have found to be ineffective and obsolete. They still deserve your love and attention. If they cannot deal with you on your spiritual level then choose to send them angels, pray for their well-being and jump in with help where and when you can.

Don’t be a silo in a world of too many silos. Use your knowledge and awareness to help everyone along. Send love, hope and healing to all others. You are not going to break bread with them or allow them to live in your guest room but a thoughtful prayer and blessing is awesome. There are struggles throughout this world. Send something positive to these places or situations. Many spiritual beings will offer that LOVE is always the answer. Embrace this and see where it takes you.

Love is truly in your God Center. Self-love, love of others and love for all Creation does not just reside in your heart. The entirety of “your” truth is in your God Center and real life will flow from there.

Advertisements

Sympathy and Empathy

People often ask how to be a better person? It is always a simple answer. If you look at the behavior, thinking and intentions of anyone you may see that they are basically positive or negative. This may be easier for you to decide about other people since you would tend to be objective. If you are asked about your own overall wellness and positivity, you would tend to split hairs, justify certain behavior and make excuses. You would be offended by someone’s quick assertions about you.

Basically, if you do good things and have a positive attitude, you are a good person. If you harm people intentionally, steal, lie, manipulate and live without sympathy/empathy for anyone, you are a bad person. Any action may be assessed in this manner. It is much like a judge in a court of law. This person will accept descriptions, facts, information and testimony then make a determination. This is also how the Universe decides what your energy vibration is. Just the facts.

What does your behavior say about you without any excuses or explanations?

This is a difficult way to look at you. In your current world you have a list of reasons and explanations for your behavior. You are depressed, you are reacting to something, you are getting back at someone, you are jealous, you have trauma in your past… There are so many layers for why you act, feel and behave in a certain way.

If you are happy, well-adjusted, flexible and self-determined you rarely act out against others. You may have thoughts of vengeance but why would you go through with it when everything is good in your life? Your own flexibility takes over and you move on to much more interesting and positive things. The people who seek vengeance and actively sabotage people in their lives usually have a lower vibration. They are dark. They see no benefit to responding to stress in a positive manner. They move from one conflict to another and try to get the better of anyone who they feel is in their way or have spoken out or acted out against them.

Their darkness varies. Some people are very dark and evil. Other people are grey, darker grey or intermittently dark. You have been in contact with truly evil people. They make you cringe and you go the other way ASAP. You get a creepy feeling and perhaps your skin feels like it is crawling. Some are described as having dead eyes. You see no emotion or feeling in their gaze. Or, they may look right through you.

What you may not actually know is where you are on the continuum of energy vibration. Are you mostly good or mostly bad? Making an assessment about your own behavior will be difficult because of your explanations and justifications. Make your best effort to decide where you stand on a scale of 1- 10.

Be honest and then go about raising your vibration. No excuses, explanations or justifications. Simply good behavior or bad behavior. Be a nice, supportive and friendly person. View your actions alone. You don’t get this yet, we know. Why would we negate all of your past experiences in reference to how you interact with the world today? Because you are an adult and you must overcome adversity and find goodness in yourself and others.

This is also how we answer the damnation question. If you are a higher vibration person, you cross over and dwell in the upper 5 levels of the Afterlife. Those who have a lower vibration cross over and find themselves in the lower 2 levels.

Why would you knowingly behave in ways where you may end up in the lower levels? The extensive list of questions about how to get away with as much as possible and still not go to Hell was eye opening. It seemed like a very childlike agenda. Can I cheat on my spouse if they deserve it? If my mom did not properly care for me as a child do I have to take care of her now that she is older and sickly? Is harming someone in the name of religion still wrong? Again, look at the action and not the backstory. Harming others, stealing money, lying, cheating, violence… is never OK. If you cannot get past what has occurred between you and the other person than the only thing you can do is walk away. Do no harm and seek no vengeance. This action will increase your vibration.

It is the acting out in harmful ways that lowers your vibration. It is best to not have the darker thoughts as well but the important thing is to not act upon them. Then, work on yourself every day to resist having the darker thoughts as well. Have you noticed that we did not take into account the layers of why, who and what? It is the thoughts and actions, not the backstory.

Enter the concepts of sympathy and empathy. These considerations are for others, not you. Rate your own actions according to how you influence or impair another. If you have no need for sympathy and empathy, then your path is much longer. If you are able to embrace your potential influence upon others, you are much closer to a resolution.

Meet all of your darker thinking and overcome them. Being an independent adult who is self-directed means that you are accountable for your thoughts and actions. You may have been seriously harmed yet God expects you to overcome and offer the Universe love and forgiveness. You are absolved for your sins as well. This is a global event. Everyone is eligible for absolution unless you are dark and treat others with dark thoughts, behaviors and actions.

It is very simple. There is no ambiguity. Your vibration determines your life experience and where you cross over to in the afterlife.

Finding Love

heartfire

We have been inundated with questions regarding finding love. We have been in tune with you for some time now and yesterdays post brought up some increased interest in this topic. Our best direction in to get in tune with your chart. This is far easier said than done, We know. What Our position is that the closer you are to your life chart the better the chance of meeting your next love. We say next love because your romantic life is a process. You may be bombarded by imperfect people because this is the best way for you to decide what you truly want.

Being realistic is also a very real barrier. We wish to help in any way We can. This is presented to you for your consideration.

1. Meditate, be grounded, be cleansed and keep your energy clear. This will help you to realign with your life chart.

2. Work on your stress management. Being grounded is so much easier when you are not ramped up on stress hormones. If you tend to display certain behavior when you are becoming stressed, recognize this and reverse the process. Relaxing again will keep you close to your chart and guess who may walk by or stop to chat.

3. Release your need to judge. To find love you must release your insistence for your mate to be, do or have something specific. Keep an open mind. If they are not your love then at least you may have a friend or an acquaintance added to your life. Many of you are quick to “dispose” of people who do not fit your expectations. This is harsh and you would be offended if this same action were used against you.

4. Do not become romantically involved with either of your “parents.” This is not normal and likely is a result of lingering childhood issues. You may seek people who remind you of someone you already love, but this will happen less often if you are able to be more open-minded and flexible.

5. Stop interrupting. Allow people to speak and be heard. You have a tendency to lead conversations and interactions. Being the sole proprietor of all of your relationships will leave you lonely and misunderstood. It is as if you have no time or patience for people to be themselves and see if they fit into your life. Yes you can wear the pants in the relationship but you will be the only one there! How about a partnership instead?

6. Try new things more often. Switch up your usual places to be or do. Being more comfortable in different places, doing new things will increase your flexibility. Being steadfast in your routine has not been working.

7. Try on some more colorful and playful clothes or accessories. This will bring you more attention from a lot of different people. You will appear creative and approachable.

8. Smile more. Would you approach someone who is enjoying their day or someone under a storm cloud? This is true for others as well. If you look like smiling is painful or uncomfortable, someone who is attracted to your difficult nature will appear. This is not who you want.

9. Get in shape. No, you are not pandering to people who only want skinny stick people. You are bringing out your good health and increased activity level. Being sluggish is not an attractive quality.

10. Get emotionally healthy. Find better health and improved mental functioning. Leave behind all of your baggage. Start fresh and resist the urge to do-over what you have done in past relationships. Something that is not working is exactly that. Let it go and find more positive ways to be open to love.

11. Do NOT seek out the “bad” boys or girls. This will end negatively. If you need turmoil and excitement take up skydiving or hang-gliding. Turmoil is not a healthy quality for any relationship.

12. Stop trying to force a bad relationship. If someone is not good or emotionally healthy for you, respect yourself and walk away. This is one sure way that the Universe is telling you that this is NOT the person for you.

13. Clinging creates a natural response of trying to flee. You are forever chasing and they are forever running the other way. This does not sound attractive does it? Recognize your ownership in this unhealthy dynamic and find a way to be empowered and secure.

14. Be the better person. Find yourself being honest, respectful and considerate. Resist any opportunity to argue, fight, destroy property, engage in vengeance or spread gossip that is untrue or purposely inflammatory. If your love must be manipulative and misleading, you have the wrong one.

15. Be a good parent. If you are in a bad relationship but also have children, it is ok to leave and give your family a healthy environment in which to grow. Resist talking bad about their other parent and model good, positive and productive behavior.

16. Be in an established relationship before starting a family. Having a baby too soon usually spells disaster. The “honeymoon” is not the time to make such long-term, life changing decisions.

17. Start a family when you are gainfully employed, financially secure and have enough support from your loved ones. Finding a new love who is open and positive about your children is more important and complicated. It is possible, but the vetting process takes more time and attention to detail.

18. Be wary of a love interest who is trying to distance you from your family or friends. There are many different avenues that abusers take but there are some hallmark behaviors that they all commonly display. See the red flags and run the other way. No, you are not the only person who truly knows them or understands them. They are misunderstood for very good reasons.

19. Love is only positive when it is accompanied by respect and appreciation. Don’t settle for less.

20. Lose the demands for someone perfect. No one is perfect, not even you. Any expectations should be moderate. Positive and healthy, but moderate. Love grows. A moderate beginning may lead to finding the love of your life. They really don’t arrive ready-made.

Star Crossed Lovers

There are many romance novels and fairy tales that give you the impression that there is one true love in your life and they are perfect and wonderful. This is far from true. What is perhaps more accurate is that you have a chart, that you wrote and you included some relationships from which to learn from. You have a specific set of goals for each of your relationships in life. This includes ALL relationships. Your parents, siblings, close and extended family… social circles, school mates, BFF’s… college/work peers, bosses, subordinates, landlords, neighbors… The list is extensive.

Having the objectivity to look at your relationships and realize their purpose, is something people rarely do. You usually tend to walk through life and manage the best you can. The popular thinking is that you are looking for the perfect partner. You may have let relationships pass by and you then wonder if they were that special someone and you didn’t realize it. You may spend some time looking back when in all actuality, please look forward. There is no going back. You passed that person by for a reason. It is your imagination that makes you think that you probably missed the relationship of a lifetime.

Refuse to waste any more time looking back. Look forward and make sure you known what you are looking for. You must be in relationships in order to discover what you appreciate and what you really don’t care for. Despite some obvious negative qualities, you have to discover your tastes by actually finding love. The first relationship is NOT your last. You will not find the perfect mate just because you believe you will. Life has more experiences in store for you.

It is much the same as finding your career. It may be something that you obviously appreciate and love to do or it may be something that presented itself to you as if by chance. It may be a summer job that really stuck with you and made you happy. Perhaps an internship that worked out well. Maybe the family business. It is a process, just like finding love.

You do not travel from A to Z without going through all of the letters. There is no purpose to this. All of your lessons are in the spaces in between. You adjust your preferences through experience. Finding Mr./Ms. Wonderful will happen if you charted it to happen.  If you charted that ‘one’ person, then you would have planned a few chances to meet and get to know them. They would appear a few times in your life so that even if you are being distracted or displeased, they will present again. No, this will not continue to go on. You will run out of chances. It is completely possible for you to miss your true love because you are holding out for something unreal or ideal.

You have developed a habit of seeking the same person over and over again. This is obviously not working but We tend to doubt that you realize this pattern that you have perpetuated. In all likelihood, you have a need for shame, doubt, fear or rejection due to some issues you have experienced. You find a cheater because you believe you don’t deserve someone who appreciates you or treats you with respect. Often, you dislike the “nice” person in favor of someone with more angst. Then this angst is directed at hurting you and leaving you holding the false blame of their dysfunction. Over and over. The “bad” boy or girl is trouble and you know it.

You may also want to meet your “mother” or “father.” This is fairly common and must be dealt with in order to become healthy and whole. In effect you are reliving your childhood and adulthood trying to get something right. This time trying to please or gain the respect of your parent. Or, you feel that someone just like your parent will love and support you BECAUSE they behave like your parent. Or, they feel “comfortable” because you are familiar with the way that they act. The problem is, this is your partner not your parent.

There are a variety of dysfunctional dynamics involved in your trying to find someone to fit your life perfectly. The truth is that it is a process. You find someone you enjoy as a friend or loved one and then you grow together. It may end up being someone who you didn’t expect.

Remember to avoid forcing someone to “fit.” A person who compliments you perfectly does not have to be just like you. Your relationship will have more depth if you support each other and grow into a more mature couple. The first few relationships are necessary. You will gain so much perspective and experience that you will be ready for that “perfect” someone instead of clinging to an ideal that does not exist.

How many of you are lonely? How many of you are in a bad relationship? There are some very nice people who may not exactly fit your expectations but you would grow to love them just the same. Their different preferences will actually expand your experiences. The only people you must avoid are the ones who will harm you, damage the good things in your life, disrespect you, leave you broke, isolate you and cause you physical/emotional pain. If you do find this troubled person, you must have enough self-respect to leave the situation and make better choices. If you have emotional problems that resulted from the life you have lived, get help, get healthy and then find healthy!

Start crossed lovers is more often the exception than the rule. Release your unrealistic expectations and gain some much-needed experience. A good relationship is something that develops between two people who love each other and want to grow together. It takes some work. It is all about nurturing, compromise and respecting each other as a whole person.

Don’t skip the lessons in between. That is where life is lived.

When Love Isn’t Enough

There are people in our lives who harm us either by intention or without intent. Either way, it is still harm. How do we decide what to do? Do we speak to them and voice our feelings? Do we not say anything and just put up with it? Or, do we systematically push them further away from us?

This is a decision that each of us may only make for ourselves. We decide how people treat us. Some of us have underlying issues and we may keep the abusive person because we believe that we deserve to be disrespected.

Look at each situation. Decide how to proceed. Make adjustments to the relationship toward achieving that change. Some people are very close to us. We may not wish to cut off a relationship with a father or sister but may be more willing to distance ourselves from a co-worker.

List each person separately. Define each relationship such as how close they are to you and how severely they wound you. List the pros and cons of each relationship. Decide how best to proceed with each individual.

The close relationships are probably worth keeping. Make time to speak about how you feel and what you would like to change between you. Make sure to state how important it is the relationship change so that you no longer feel put-down or belittled.

The people who are not so close to you may be addressed by simply limiting the amount of time that you spend with them. Excuse yourself if you start to feel bad about what is being said or done. Always have an excuse ready to get out of those unhealthy interactions.

Those who you are not able to stay away from may be handled by simply letting go. Do not engage in harmful discussions and quickly dismiss what is being said or done with the intention of hurting you. Wrap it up and let it go. When you leave the encounter flush your being with White Light. Sing your own praises to yourself and get on with your day!

Some abusers will tire of not getting a sufficient reaction from you. They will lose interest if you do not react with sufficient upset. Hopefully they will limit their own contact with you because it does not feed their need to harm someone.

If the abuser is someone who you are in a romantic relationship with then are there are many more issues at work. There is a significant lack of self-esteem and perhaps overriding feelings of helplessness. In this case there are no quick fixes. Counseling would be a great idea to start. Beware that the abuser will likely react negatively to your seeking help. They may increase the stakes against you and make every effort to regain control over you again.

Do not look for a rescuer! There are people who look for abused individuals just so that they may intervene and save the abused partner. These people are just as enmeshed in abuse as the person who you are trying to escape. This is an unhealthy cycle. To ensure your successful recovery you need to seek an appropriate exit that places an emphasis upon your overall well-being.

This is a small sampling of instances. We will speak more about this is the near future. Just know that this is a start. Look objectively at the people in your life. Decide what you are willing to endure and what is truly unacceptable. Try your best to not be the victim in anyone’s dysfunction.

Once you view your relationships objectively, we will know where to take the next step. Look forward to healthy and uplifting relationships.

We will look more closely at your ability to want what is healthy and also who has alterior motives and darker needs.

Find love in every moment of every day,

Evelyn