Blessed is the Journey

People are in a hurry to get to the end of any stage, event or growth period. The results are fine but some of the most important times are the trips getting there. This is where you go through the experiences that culminate in your advanced learning and spirituality. The journey is more than half of the experience.

We will offer a few examples.

In order to have a baby you don’t get pregnant and then have the baby a week later. This is a process that gives your body time to make physiological changes as well as your mind to make emotional changes. If you read books or meet with other expectant mothers, you realize that the process has been well documented. The changes that your body makes are in direct response to the changes needed for gestation and birth.

You have time to get ready for the baby. If you gave birth after one week you would be overwhelmed and unprepared. Your body and mind would be in shock. Then, you would be expected to be a good parent without any time to actually prepare for the job. Too much, too soon.

Another example is perhaps you want to be a millionaire. Maybe you have an older relative that charted great wealth for their own life and now they have great wealth to pass on to family members. You won’t receive this money when you are 10 years old. You wouldn’t have the maturity to manage money or even grasp the concept of wealth. Perhaps you charted getting the inheritance when you turn 21. This is still very soon but you may have wanted a very demanding journey of managing money and not losing all of it due to immaturity.

In fact, people usually inherit money when they are more mature. This is optimal since you should have developed some money management skills and are capable of maintaining your wealth and not squandering it. It seems that your elders seldom give you money outright but prefer to bequeath it to you after their death. This will give you the most amount of time to become responsible with many years of money management and budgeting history.

The last example is about love and marriage. Imagine that you married quite young but believe that this person is truly your life partner. Soon, there are problems in the marriage and tension develops. You may not have adequate communication skills so each disagreement gets blown out of proportion. Neither of you are able to manage money effectively so there are arguments over finances. You may also feel tied down and missing out on some exciting relationships. All of these issues occur because both of you have not had enough life experience. One or two areas of contention may be manageable but all of these problem areas are simply too much.

Each of you exit the relationship and now you are dealing with whatever responsibilities you gathered together whether it is children, debt, legal trouble, joblessness, a mortgage…  Now it is up to you when you enter into another relationship. Have you matured? Do you better have communication skills now? Are you better at managing your money? Now may be the better time to find another lasting relationship.

Finding a better relationship may be as simple as waiting until you are independent, resilient, mature, financially responsible, reliable and a better partner. The journey taught you what you really want or need in a relationship. Marriage too soon, whether due to age or not knowing each other well enough, doesn’t last. You didn’t know the skills you need for a successful marriage until you took that journey.

Hopefully these examples explain the concept of gaining knowledge and experience in order to benefit from the process. Too much, too soon, complicates your life choices.

Being mature is a good precursor to many of life’s commitments. Broaden your knowledge and do your best to decide what you truly want. A departed Uncle of mine, Ora, recently told me, “You may get what you want but you might not want what you get.” I still have a lot to learn.

Life charts have some common characteristics. Usually, you schedule turmoil in one of the thirds of your life span. Perhaps in childhood/ young adulthood, adult or elder years. So, if you had a problematic childhood, you likely will have better experiences in the other two thirds. Or, if you had an ideal childhood you may have turmoil in the other two thirds, and so on. The problem with this concept is if you have had a troubled childhood, the dysfunction and learned helplessness may carry over into your adult life. If you have not dealt with this childhood turmoil, you may disrupt your remaining years. So, you could be waiting for relief but get none due to your lack of healing and maturity.

You still must do the work. If you haven’t learned how to be part of a healthy marriage, you won’t have one. If you haven’t learned how to be a good parent, you won’t be one. If you haven’t learned how to manage money, you won’t have wealth. Life is set up in order for you to gain the most from life experiences. This is what you asked for but you must be an active participant and gain the blessings that you have charted. If not, blessings will leave your life quickly like falling through a sieve. One million dollars will not last long if you are wrought with immaturity, dysfunction, substance abuse, dishonesty and denial.

Life isn’t magic. The journey is necessary so you will know what to do when you finally get what you want.

 

 

 

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