Beauty & the Beast

There is a duality in everyone’s personality. At times, there is more than just two sides of any person but we will keep it simple. In each of you there is a beauty and a beast. We don’t intend to offend any men that visit this site but we are using this title to make a point.

Beauty is the side that you want others to see and be impressed with. You wish to show intelligence, humor, strength, leadership and independence. The beast is perhaps the more accurate of the two sides. This is the impulsive, childish, selfish and poorly behaving side. When we speak of moderation we wish to encourage you to be more balanced with your behavior. Be less beast and more beauty. Not just the side you are putting out there to be seen but truly balanced.

It takes a lot of maturity to be able to discern what behaviors are positive and proactive. There have been many times in the past when you were loud, impulsive and making demands of people and you felt this was the best way to present yourself and get things done. You may have believed you were being “fierce” in a progressive way. Would you still behave in that manner? Do you feel you get more done by being aggressive and challenging? Perhaps this was more about making people fear you so they will avoid upsetting you or bringing any criticism to your attention.

This type of behavior is neither positive nor proactive. You only lead by fear and oppress any bright, innovative possibilities to occur for you and those around you. You have stomped out any true opportunities for success and prosperity. Ruling through fear will bring no amount of lasting productivity. As soon as your own intellect is topped out, the group will be unable to rise above your limited knowledge. This type of leadership will eventually fail everyone, including you.

Meeting the events of your life with flexibility and eagerness is more successful. In this manner you will allow for more advancement. Encouraging others to have input improves the amount of new information and ideas available. This promotes a progressive environment for decision making. This applies to any type of group or collection of individuals such as family, friends, neighborhood, community and co-workers.

What seems to influence the amount of positivity and flexibility is someone’s ability to handle stress. If someone is very stressed they tend to shut down the number of avenues that anyone may be able to introduce more stress. This leader has enough on their plate and can’t handle any more complicated items presented to them. The iron fist will accomplish this until they have less stress or until the tyranny fails to control the situation. Then what? The beast is in charge and will step up the anger and aggression or “lose it.” The handling of this situation is not likely to be productive at this point. Many people will walk away or see if someone else can address the concern more effectively.

What if this is a parent? The child or children may not have any other avenues to pursue. What if the beast is the boss? There would also be a lack of recourse. How many of you would survive in this type of situation? How many of you are the beast and you leave no room for individuality or freedom?

Some other situations that create a beast are listed.

  1. Someone with little to no impulse control.
  2. Someone who abuses substances.
  3. A person who is newly sober.
  4. A person with a mental deficiency.
  5. An immature person.
  6. Someone who lacks self-determination by being in an abusive situation, is treated without respect, is taken advantage of or is indebted to someone.
  7. Someone who is very young or very old.
  8. A person acting without responsibility.
  9. Someone who lacks experience in this certain area.
  10. A sociopath.

There are so many differing experiences in life. You come to this point with an individual and unique perspective. You have known some beauties and some beasts and you have been either in any amount of life events. The identity that you present to others depends upon your position in the matter. Are you the parent, supervisor, CEO, child, teacher…? It is possible to utilize some characteristics from either personality type in all of your different roles.

We are encouraging positive, proactive and moderate responses to life situations. Be the person that you would prefer to deal with. You have experience with good bosses, partners, friends…and bad ones. You may be able to formulate your best identity by taking all of the most effective behaviors and responding in this manner to things that give you stress. What are the most memorable “beast” moments that you remember? Avoid this same type of behavior. Treat others with respect and consideration. Remember the times that you were diminished and vow to handle it better when it comes to your own decision making.

Develop some ways to manage stress. Do some research on effective coping strategies and begin to use them. You may have one or more of the above listed trouble areas but coping strategies will still help. Avoid severe mood swings from elated to sullen. If you remain moderate your ability to cope effectively will improve. The rush of impulsive thinking will give way to measured, considerate and conscientious responses. The underlying problems that lead to beast behavior will probably need to be addressed but at least you may begin to make changes by improving your coping skills.

Start here where you can. If dealing with larger issues adds to your stress then focus on what you can change. Be moderate and function in ways which will actually make life easier. Fighting and making threats is not the easiest way to get things done. You will actually accomplish less because no one will want to deal with you anymore. Living life by burning this many bridges is not advised. People may be afraid of you but they certainly won’t respect you either. And, they won’t make your life any easier.

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