Who Is On Your Side

Sometimes it seems that other people in your life don’t want you to heal. Why would this be right? Because others are comfortable in the dysfunction and they want you to continue to play your part. If you begin to upset the relationship between people and strive to become healthy, they lose their feelings of stability. Yes, even though it is dysfunction, people believe it is their own “normal.” They will struggle to keep you emotionally and spiritually unwell in order to keep everything the same. They may sabotage your recovery and you may also sabotage your own recovery as well. Once you step back in line, they will assume that you have retaken your role and they will no longer work against you.

That is a hallmark of dysfunction. No one wants anyone to change. If it has been determined that everything is grandma’s fault then, even after death, it still is her fault. Either that or everyone will choose another scapegoat and continue on in this manner. The new scapegoat is just like grandma or they are blamed with their own dynamic. This is not emotionally healthy or normal but it is the way some family’s function.

Mental illness is also a family dynamic. Often the identified patient is one of the healthier members of the group. Mental health practitioners often see greater depths of illness within other family members. The identified patient may be the only one who is enlightened enough to seek help. They may also distance themselves from the larger group because, once in treatment, they don’t want to play their role anymore. It is also possible that they will stay in their family role because they don’t see a better way. Or, the real world may be overwhelming and being at home may seem easier or at least familiar.

You may have chosen your path to better health. In response, people around you may begin to make you feel unusual or better than everyone else. They may distance themselves from you. Why would your loved ones want to deter you from healing?

  1. You may become angry or argumentative because your insight is improving and you are finding some relationship dynamics that are working against you.
  2. They don’t want to be blamed for any of your problems.
  3. Your improved emotional health may cause them to feel inferior, odd or out of place.
  4. Their issues with substances, abuse, neglect, anger, mental illness… may be brought out.
  5. Their ineffective coping will seem more obvious.
  6. They may become jealous of your improved life.
  7. They may lose their ability to blame you for their own dysfunction.

By stepping away from the group dynamic, the remaining members will turn against each other. Obviously, they will find another scapegoat, which may be you. They may continue on in their usual fashion or they may struggle to rope you back in. Either way, you will not see any support from them. There may be other marginal family members that will step forward and acknowledge your good intentions. They may have moved to the margin because they also did not want to play their role. Sometimes these are the people who have moved away. What they sold to family members as a good move for work, better health, better economy, may have just been a way out. Your own view of the family dynamic will also improve with some distance.

Some people will support your efforts to resolve some important issues and others may be less than helpful. It may surprise you exactly who it is that steps up to be one of your support people. It is up to you how to proceed. Carefully navigate making changes and be prepared for some people to get in your way. Remember that their motives may be completely selfish on their part when they attempt to sound sincere.

As you increase your vibration you will attract people who are also vibrating at a higher rate. This is the Law of Attraction. You may leave some of your family and friends behind because of their tendency to sabotage your growth. It is also very possible to gather people of like-mind to you and have more support than you may have expected.

Once you have committed to emotional and spiritual healing, the universe will send help, guidance and obvious messages of support. You are never alone but an improved mood and attitude may help you to recognize your spiritual helpers more easily. Intuition is a powerful skill when making positive changes in your life. Smile more. Laugh more. Bring more light to yourself and others.

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