Online Charades

persistent

Love is at its finest when it is given without expectation. The moment you feel you need some acknowledgment, your pure intentions are lost. One of the most difficult lessons is about selflessness. It is a giant leap in ascension to focus only upon those you love, inspire you and you want to heal.

Many people are not accustomed to looking outward only. Being selfless requires no doubts or second guessing. No hesitation when sending out your energy and intent to heal. You have a habit of looking at someone without any consideration for how they really feel, if they are well or is there joy in their life. You only embrace their outer appearance. You have been content to consider only what people are presenting to you, not what is actually there.

This is more profound now that the internet has made finding friends and partners superficial and seemingly effortless. The vast majority of internet users present only what they want others to believe. There is a lot of deceit, misjudgment and fantasy at play. You also believe what you want to believe so the misrepresentation goes both ways.

This is not how God intended you to find members of your support system. You may find people, interests and groups on the internet but then actual in-person interaction may take place. Find them, meet them and learn to love them. If this is an internet only friendship then make sure it is positive and helpful.

Many people perpetuate their dysfunction through online relationships. You will find an abuser if you behave as a victim. You will be lied to and mistreated if this is part of your expectations. You will fall into someone else’s lies or manipulation if you need to rescue someone or be emotionally battered. The dynamic that you create in real life is also the dynamic you create in your online life except that it is much easier to pull off.

No one is following your tracks unless you want them to. Your parents or siblings don’t always realize that you’ve created something unhealthy while you are online. In real life your family and friends may see that someone is disrespecting you, hurting your feelings or physically mistreating you. Online you only present what you want when your loved ones ask about your life.

The hardship is evident when you don’t realize that you have searched far and wide for someone to fulfil your dysfunction. The same dysfunction that ruined your childhood or ended your marriage. You have not found emotional health; you have found someone to fill your need. You may have fought with loved ones to keep your abuser in real life and you will likely do the same now.

You invest far too much time building a persona that is not real or healthy. This online life will serve to waste days, months or even years of your life. Your online “boyfriend/girlfriend” is not genuine. You behave in ways to mislead them and fulfil what dysfunction they are looking for. Does this serve a purpose? Not really.

God wishes you to find true healing and emotional wellbeing. Find your problems and take steps to resolve them. Do the work. Resolve whatever dynamic has derailed your emotional health. Find a new perspective from a state of wellness and then find love.

You spend your time filling holes in a sinking boat. Then, you find another person who fits into this unhealthy dynamic in real life or on the internet. What results? You are both in a broken boat, filling even bigger holes. This is not happiness. This is not emotional health. You are perpetuating the dysfunction that has already taken up far too much of your time.

What happens most often is that you don’t realize that you have these emotional triggers that shape your life. You continue along like you have found the greatest canvas to feel complete. You have actual joy regarding your online life and most people don’t really know what you are doing. You have your privacy unless you publish your every move on the internet!

This is actually delaying any real growth and maturity. You are active every day to keep playing the same moves over again. “This is who I am. Please love me.” But what of the image you are presenting are not really you?

There are real benefits by having the internet. This may be one way in which it serves no purpose other to entertain you with “relationships.” It is like being part of a play. If you knew an actor that stayed in character even when not performing the play, you would think this was odd. So here you are, or possibly others in your life, playing a role you created, or allowed others to create for you, and you stay in character. You may become defensive that your online life is “real!”

Well, make it real. Be honest and genuine. Learn, express, experience and grow. Find ways to resolve some concerns and share your healing with others who may need to hear how it is done. Respond to constructive suggestions. Are they right? Do you have some underlying behavior that is negative or manipulative? Make changes if those suggestions resonate with you. Find your true self. Release any anger, greed, ego or despair. Open to God and allow your own healing. Find communion and grow exponentially.

Use the internet as tool to support the good work you do while making your own life better and the lives of those you love. Don’t live on the internet. Be mindful and find a healthy balance.

 

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