Standing On Your Own

Many of you are having trouble accepting that your current life circumstances are your own responsibility. It seems to make more sense to blame other people, situations or circumstances for  your life.

Even re-reading the above paragraph should hit you that of course your life is your responsibility. What mind warp has occurred to allow you to rest any responsibility upon anything and anyone but yourself? It seems more likely that the dysfunction that created your life perspective is hard at work making you truly believe that you are not at fault. You were taught through years of modeling that blaming anyone but yourself is acceptable. In fact, others in your life are probably blaming you for some things that are also not your responsibility.

Accepting responsibility for your own circumstances is difficult and very lonely. Once you have stood firmly up on your own feet and have accepted that you are the only person who changes you, it is an unfamiliar feeling. Many people become angry when someone tries to get them to accept responsibility. Anger is a coping mechanism. You over react so no one will ever try to impress upon you that you must make changes to your own life. If you blow up in their face, they won’t try again and you may remain blissfully ignorant.

But this is not the way you charted your life. By avoiding any blame you actually miss some important life lessons. Your chart is intended that you find your own strength and accept responsibility for what needs to be changed. Then you work toward further emotional health. You don’t succeed spiritually by not being fully responsible for your actions, intentions and communication.

This still upsets you.

You are having a hard time with this concept. We understand and We will walk you through as much as possible.

One example is growing up with an alcoholic parent. You live with anger, violence, depression, emotional manipulation, money problems, abuse and neglect. Then, as an adult, you choose to overindulge in alcohol. Thus, you bring all those same problems into your own home and family. This no longer is your parent’s fault. You know the dynamic, you understand the emotional turmoil this brings into your home and yet you choose to live your life the same way. You are an adult. You have your own home, family and workplace. You have chosen to recreate the dysfunction of your childhood. No one has forced you to be an alcoholic. It may have happened because of the dysfunction that you knew but now YOU must make different choices. Do the work. Get help and achieve more emotional health and stability for you and your family.

Then what? Your children have likely learned to blame others and rely upon substances in daily life. Now, again, you have been responsible for raising them in this environment and modeling some negative, ineffective coping mechanisms. They will also blame you and everyone but themselves. Then, once they are adults, they must make changes to improve the emotional health and wellbeing of their own family.

The ideal situation would be for emotionally healthy, responsible and spiritual people to partner together and raise some well-adjusted children. You don’t get to this point by blaming others. If you blame others irrationally, your children will also behave in the same manner. Then, you will become angry and frustrated because they will naturally blame you!

It is a cycle. Life is full of cycles. You are destined to experience the same patterns, behaviors and actions until you learn the lessons that were intended. If you don’t learn the lessons and accept responsibility for your actions, you will continue to relive these cycles and never accomplish what you and God intended. No spiritual success because you did not understand that, as an adult, you are responsible for making the needed changes to your life.

This is an important concept. Imagine living your entire life and not reaching any goals that the Divine intended. You’re just here, making ineffective decisions, blaming others and remaining spiritually unsuccessful. An entire life cycle of dysfunction. This should upset you more than accepting responsibility for your own actions.

The anger is real. You have lived your life conditioned to resist any blame. Even your attempts to blame others may be irrational and occasionally comical. You go to great distances to stay irresponsible. This is a path to nowhere.

It is time to start. It is ok to make smaller changes at first. It is important to make the changes last and improve your life continuously. You will find strength in standing on your own. You have decided to make some changes and improve your spiritual and emotional health. This is how you truly find God. You may find God, go to church, pray and share communion with other believers but if you still perpetuate your dysfunction, this isn’t genuine. You would join others who only preach on Sunday and don’t truly live a spiritual life. This is a mockery. We are certain that you know many people who behave in this manner. They try to portray faith but actually just feverishly cover up their dysfunction.

This is not Our intention for you. We would like to remove your false thinking and instead give you genuine, practical and authentic knowledge about God and the Realms of Heaven.

Your resistance to accepting responsibility for your life is not productive. Pushing blame away from you is furthering the dysfunction that you have already lived and learned. There is no purpose to continuing these cycles. No benefits will result. Prepare yourself to live honestly, independently and spiritually. These coping skills of anger, frustration, fleeing, becoming overwhelmed, depression … have been “normal” for you, but now you know the truth. Understand it for what it is.

Do your best to view your life objectively and start making changes. Staying the same is not spiritual success. Pushing back against the truth does not help. Taking steps to being wise and full of faith really needs to start now. It is uncomfortable at first but then you will find strength in accepting responsibility. It is an uncommon trait in today’s world but this is where life truly begins.

Break the cycles that have held you back. They are immature, meaningless and you really can’t hide behind them any longer. A life free of these shackles is a reward in itself. Be eager to experience this.

 

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