Yeah But…

Many of you still are offended that finding your mate, partner or soul love is not the extent of your existence. We will try to reframe our discussion so it makes more sense.

Think of your life in perspective. You were in spirit form and you identified specific experiences that you wanted to learn from. Love is a goal but it is not the be all end all. Love is included in your life chart but is not the culmination of it.

Remember the stages of development. You learn to trust or mistrust…

At some point you learn about love. Love of self. Love of family. Love of friends. You begin at your center and you learn to project this emotion outward. You either have reassurance and confirmation about love or you don’t. You may be safe to love family but have a hard time to find lovable friends. Or you may be able to project an unlimited amount of love outward without concern or repercussions.

These steps take time. depending upon the stability and support of your nuclear family, you are able to find more outlets for love. If you live in dysfunction or turmoil, less love is available to you and you mistrust the love that you have. Your actual life experience with love will vary from person to person.

Imagine being in a loving, emotionally stable home. You feel love and receive affirmations and support. In this instance, romantic love will come to you more easily. You don’t have the trust issues that many others your age have. Now imagine being in a family of turmoil. This makes even self-love difficult. It is less likely that you will find true love and be able to project it outward into the world to find romantic love and love of the world in general. Most of you fall in between these two extremes, which is normal.

By now you may have evaluated where you fall on this continuum. If you have trust issues, your goal of romantic love seems very important to you. It is something you have longed for. You may not realize all of the steps that were taken in your life for you to be uncertain of love, but you really want someone for your own. You also want someone who is “perfect” and “completes” you. At this point, this goal is not likely. You have many issues and concerns that have blocked your ability to form a healthy ability to love. Finding Mr./Ms. Perfect is very slim. You have more roads to travel than the person with the loving, stable base for their life.

To you this may seem unfair but, you wrote it. You have had many lifetimes of great love. You have had several children or none at all. You struggled with money or were financially independent. You suffered a severe illness or lived a long life and died of old age. All of this has been your reality. Putting your desire for romantic love must be placed in perspective. This life may not be about finding someone special. There may be a mountain of others things that you intended to do.

Even the emotionally stable person may find it difficult to find someone special. The search is difficult if you didn’t have a stable background in which to learn about love. If your goal is truly to find a healthy, stable love then you must do the work. Resolve your past issues and concerns. Release your need to hold grudges and be right all the time. Learn to value people because they are different and sometimes challenging. Open your mind and accept that your next love may be a work in progress just as you are. No one is perfect, including you.

Discover what expectations you have that are actually blocking your ability to find love. Take that list and do the work. There is no magical potion. Work through your own issues and then find someone you are able to function with on a healthy level. There are ups and downs. There are conflicts. There are always unmet expectations. Work with them. Make changes and compromise.

Respect begets respect. If you are abusing drugs, stealing, lying and trying to manipulate everyone…you will NOT find a healthy love. If you are angry and controlling, you will also not find a healthy love. If you are clingy and needy, guess what? You need to do the work. Make changes and find a higher level of functioning, then look for love.

You admire many people. You see that they are happy and deeply in love. You may envy them. The difference between you and them is what was written in your charts. They charted a loving, committed relationship and they followed their chart until they found it. You are midway. You have a longer walk and many issues to resolve before you find what they have.

Are there differences between their behavior and yours? Likely. They have learned to successfully manage a relationship. They have learned to budget, problem solve, parent, work, have leisure activities, good health… They have mutual respect and appreciation. That, or they are lying to everyone!

Resolve some past issues and concerns. Free up your potential to meet loving, friendly, emotionally stable people. Did you meet someone in a bar? Well then they act like they belong in a bar don’t they? Make love your goal, but make your intention to get healthy and find the love that you can stay healthy with.

Being able to follow your chart and complete the experiences that you have chosen is what this life is about. You may not have charted a romantic love this time around. What seems to be true is that you want to diminish or dismiss your actual life goals in order to find someone to be with, whether they are positive, emotionally healthy and well-intentioned people or not. This view is short sided at best. You may mature with age and find other goals regarding life and humanity or you may not and still only focus upon your love, wealth and status.

The disconnect happens when you feel that some mistake has been made. You certainly believe that your chart includes a passionate, lifelong love and not something about charity or world health. You could not have been so narrow-minded in spirit to NOT include that sizzling love affair. What you really want is to derail your chart, relentlessly pursue love and wonder why your life seems so empty. It feels empty because you are not on your path.

Love is not what you came here to focus on and some mistakes must have been made. “Who do I speak to so I can rewrite this?” No one. You may write your chart for your next incarnation after you have returned home. And, while in Divine spiritual form you will again realize that finding your “soul mate” is not what life is about. Good luck with that.

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