Finding Love

heartfire

We have been inundated with questions regarding finding love. We have been in tune with you for some time now and yesterdays post brought up some increased interest in this topic. Our best direction in to get in tune with your chart. This is far easier said than done, We know. What Our position is that the closer you are to your life chart the better the chance of meeting your next love. We say next love because your romantic life is a process. You may be bombarded by imperfect people because this is the best way for you to decide what you truly want.

Being realistic is also a very real barrier. We wish to help in any way We can. This is presented to you for your consideration.

1. Meditate, be grounded, be cleansed and keep your energy clear. This will help you to realign with your life chart.

2. Work on your stress management. Being grounded is so much easier when you are not ramped up on stress hormones. If you tend to display certain behavior when you are becoming stressed, recognize this and reverse the process. Relaxing again will keep you close to your chart and guess who may walk by or stop to chat.

3. Release your need to judge. To find love you must release your insistence for your mate to be, do or have something specific. Keep an open mind. If they are not your love then at least you may have a friend or an acquaintance added to your life. Many of you are quick to “dispose” of people who do not fit your expectations. This is harsh and you would be offended if this same action were used against you.

4. Do not become romantically involved with either of your “parents.” This is not normal and likely is a result of lingering childhood issues. You may seek people who remind you of someone you already love, but this will happen less often if you are able to be more open-minded and flexible.

5. Stop interrupting. Allow people to speak and be heard. You have a tendency to lead conversations and interactions. Being the sole proprietor of all of your relationships will leave you lonely and misunderstood. It is as if you have no time or patience for people to be themselves and see if they fit into your life. Yes you can wear the pants in the relationship but you will be the only one there! How about a partnership instead?

6. Try new things more often. Switch up your usual places to be or do. Being more comfortable in different places, doing new things will increase your flexibility. Being steadfast in your routine has not been working.

7. Try on some more colorful and playful clothes or accessories. This will bring you more attention from a lot of different people. You will appear creative and approachable.

8. Smile more. Would you approach someone who is enjoying their day or someone under a storm cloud? This is true for others as well. If you look like smiling is painful or uncomfortable, someone who is attracted to your difficult nature will appear. This is not who you want.

9. Get in shape. No, you are not pandering to people who only want skinny stick people. You are bringing out your good health and increased activity level. Being sluggish is not an attractive quality.

10. Get emotionally healthy. Find better health and improved mental functioning. Leave behind all of your baggage. Start fresh and resist the urge to do-over what you have done in past relationships. Something that is not working is exactly that. Let it go and find more positive ways to be open to love.

11. Do NOT seek out the “bad” boys or girls. This will end negatively. If you need turmoil and excitement take up skydiving or hang-gliding. Turmoil is not a healthy quality for any relationship.

12. Stop trying to force a bad relationship. If someone is not good or emotionally healthy for you, respect yourself and walk away. This is one sure way that the Universe is telling you that this is NOT the person for you.

13. Clinging creates a natural response of trying to flee. You are forever chasing and they are forever running the other way. This does not sound attractive does it? Recognize your ownership in this unhealthy dynamic and find a way to be empowered and secure.

14. Be the better person. Find yourself being honest, respectful and considerate. Resist any opportunity to argue, fight, destroy property, engage in vengeance or spread gossip that is untrue or purposely inflammatory. If your love must be manipulative and misleading, you have the wrong one.

15. Be a good parent. If you are in a bad relationship but also have children, it is ok to leave and give your family a healthy environment in which to grow. Resist talking bad about their other parent and model good, positive and productive behavior.

16. Be in an established relationship before starting a family. Having a baby too soon usually spells disaster. The “honeymoon” is not the time to make such long-term, life changing decisions.

17. Start a family when you are gainfully employed, financially secure and have enough support from your loved ones. Finding a new love who is open and positive about your children is more important and complicated. It is possible, but the vetting process takes more time and attention to detail.

18. Be wary of a love interest who is trying to distance you from your family or friends. There are many different avenues that abusers take but there are some hallmark behaviors that they all commonly display. See the red flags and run the other way. No, you are not the only person who truly knows them or understands them. They are misunderstood for very good reasons.

19. Love is only positive when it is accompanied by respect and appreciation. Don’t settle for less.

20. Lose the demands for someone perfect. No one is perfect, not even you. Any expectations should be moderate. Positive and healthy, but moderate. Love grows. A moderate beginning may lead to finding the love of your life. They really don’t arrive ready-made.

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