A Grandmother’s Love

I waited and watched for you. From the moment I knew you were conceived, I held my focus upon you. I knew that life would be different for you because I am more mature and stable. I have many more years of experience and wisdom for which to watch over you with.

I promised you that I would be there for every event that mattered. I bandaged an injured knee, I dried tears of joy and sadness, I kept watch when you were ill and I planned each birthday over and over again.

I beheld you when you were new. You were so small and intimately perfect. I had such high hopes for what you may do and what you may become. Then life entered again. Things were less than perfect and not always so magical. I cried each time your hope was dampened or someone told you that you were less than perfect. I tried so hard to overcome all of those negative things. I thought if I loved you even more, nurtured you endlessly, and supported all of your hopes and dreams that you would realize that you are perfect and a Child of God.

I built walls to protect you from your parents’ limitations. I held you close when your siblings put you down or sabotaged your destiny. I tried so hard to keep everything around you perfect then I realized… Life is not perfect. We are here to get bumps and bruises and learn difficult lessons. We are intended to be chastised and put down only to find our true worth.

I must have made a mistake. I thought protecting you was best. I loved you so much that I wished for you to be whole and have your full potential. I cried each time you fell down but I didn’t see that you always got back up.

I love you dearly and I now know that your life is yours to live. Every lesson is intended and each mistake is to teach. Even the mistakes that I made with your mom or dad was meant to impact them and, in turn, you.

Our destination is to heal and to grow. It is to take each limitation and build upon it success and prosperity. Each generation will outshine the one before. Now that I am in spirit, I know what I had done that hurt others, limited their potential and unduly created turmoil and loss. I have so many regrets and yet I still have more hope.

Look to me and find my love. Find also my guidance. And better still, find my support. I long to be the grandparent that you need to make the difficult tasks in life manageable. I have been there. I have learned from it. I am able to help.

Look for me in a waterfall of rose gold droplets. Surround yourself in my love. Step into the vortex of Grandmother’s Love and fill yourself with purity, love and eternal hope. In spirit, my support for you is undying. I no longer have human frailties. I have gathered strength from God and All Others so that I may lend you a hand.

This is my goal. I have made a committment to you for your lifetime. Look for me and I will appear.

(This is a universal grandmothers’ love. I have felt a female energy around me for weeks now and I have finally put a voice to it. I have a small keepsake from the “International Council of 13 Indigenous Grandmothers.” I meditate on this for their love and guidance. It feels so comforting.)

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