Many of you have balked at the idea of allowing others to make their own mistakes. Any exceptions to this advice would be for a parent and younger child, a parent or guardian of an emotionally delayed child or person, someone with a mental health condition which prevents them from making informed decisions or family of an elder who has lost the capability of making sound decisions.
Why are we having such a difficult time of letting things go? Because we have not released our ego needs. Overstepping into someone else’s life is you feeling ENTITLED.
What do you think of when you describe someone as “entitled.” It isn’t a good thing. It is generally a person who feels that they “deserve” to be involved and their direction “should” be followed. It is a person stepping upon the ability of another to make their own decisions regarding their own life. It is something that the entitled person is “allowed” because they have a history of being allowed to do this in the past.
Entitlement has nothing to do with respect, objectivity, compassion or healthy emotional boundaries.
Why have you come to believe that you are not expected to behave in accordance with healthy emotional boundaries? Likely because there is dysfunction in the home. Even more likely there was dysfunction while your were growing up. This is a huge admission. Are you capable of realistically looking at your life and accepting the dysfunction?
Your mother/father was entitled to tell you what to do thus you are entitled to tell your children what to do. We are not talking about young children, we are discussing youth 16 years old or older.
“Of course they need to follow my direction because when they are in trouble I am the one who pays for their mistakes.” So, if they are adults, no longer “pay” for their troubles. Allow them to find their own way. “But they will come to me for help and no one else will help them.” If they are adults, allow them to develop their own support system in which they are encouraged to be responsible for their own behavior. “But I love them and I can’t stand to see them under so much stress.” Allow them to be accountable for their actions and offer love, support and understanding when they handle their problems in a positive, productive way.
Take steps to relieve the dysfunction in your relationships. This is God’s Will.
Each generation is more successful than the one before. Each generation is more emotionally healthy as the one before. If not, there needs to be some changes.
Pray, be grounded, be centered, cleanse and clear your chakras, align your chakras and meditate. Following the guidance of God does not involve sheltering others and not allowing them to mature and be responsible. Again, if the adult is capable of being responsible and does not have a mental illness or developmental disability that interferes with their independence.
Can you hear yourself? Would you really stand before God and state, “I have to do it for him/her,” “he/she can’t do this without me,” “I have to make the decisions for him/her.” What would be God’s response?
Small steps to improve the emotional wellbeing of you and your loved ones is recommended. We all have some extent of dysfunction in our homes or in the home we grew up in. There is no shame in being unaware of healthy emotional boundaries. It is ok to start now!
If you have read this post and the idea of allowing adults to be responsible, independent adults is still foreign to you, that’s ok too. We all mature at our own rate.
“Dysfunction is the chosen response of one who has not been given emotionally healthy role models after which to adjust their own behavioral responses.” If you didn’t learn it then you don’t know. Of course God allows for this. Now, He encourages you to seek and utilize many mature, responsible, emotionally healthy responses to use from now on.
We must offer patience to ourselves and our close loved ones. Any step toward good health is a good step!
Release your need to control others. This is a self-defeating action which will lead to more frustration. God “allows” you to learn and make changes. You are God in human form. So, please “allow” others to learn and make changes.
Our goal in life is to become our higher self. Our higher self behaves as God behaves.
Well Spring of God's Love 