Hidden Trauma

The truth is under there somewhere. So many of us are trying to hide the “truth” about who we are and what we are really like. There are crazy moments when we actually feel that we don’t belong, don’t deserve, shouldn’t have, shouldn’t do, and shouldn’t succeed. We have to make apologies about our belongings, appearance, success and strengths.

Why do we feel the need to demean our existence? Why is our confidence so horribly low? Who apologizes for being successful? We do!

Is this a statement about who we are and how we feel about ourselves or this a statement about how we think and feel about the other person? Most often it is our own insecurities that have come into play. There are truly times when we minimize our success in order to avoid being judged by someone who is jealous and petty. This is uncommon. We are usually expressing some deeply rooted feelings about our own value and worthiness.

Somewhere along the line we decided that we are “less” than our peers, siblings or other people in our lives. We sabotage our success because it scares us. We are derailed by our “what if’s.” You may unwittingly avoid a promotion, a new relationship, a great opportunity, or a financial windfall. Why? Exactly… why?

We spend far too much settling. In order to find your truth and expand as a perfect Child of God, you may actually have to look at what it is that you are trying so desperately to hide.

It rears its ugly head during times of stress. A simple disappointment may get blown far out of proportion. Others may wonder why you are reacting so dramatically. You lose your grip for a day or two until you wrestle IT back into that box that you keep hidden so deep in your soul.

Anxiety is a common indicator of hidden issues. If you feel like you are constantly running from something, this concern must be looked at. If not dealt with, the anxiety may cause further disruption in your life. You may lose time at work, behave unpredictably, abuse alcohol or drugs, damage relationships, suffer financially, and lose your home or other belongings.

What is IT? Where did IT come from and why does IT haunt you? How deep are the roots? Is IT something long past or ongoing?

The truth about IT is not as bad as you think it is. In your search for enlightenment it is possible for you to unbury IT and cope. As you learn, experience and mature your ego will diminish. You’ll find it completely possible to deal with all of your secrets and move forward in strength and Light.

The key to this evolution is knowing that your life unfolds as expected. You wrote IT. You chose to experience IT to learn from, not to undo you. There is more than this one life. Your existence is a culmination of many lives and many experiences, positive and negative. No one event was intended to cease your growth or damage your soul.

A divorce, bankruptcy, suffering abuse, losing a child, being unable to have a child, cancer, a devastating car accident, being mugged, losing a job, someone’s suicide, being sued, foreclosure… There are many truly negative and desperate events that may occur in life, but your soul continues on.

Believe in your value. Acknowledge what it is that you keep hidden. Take time to understand the impact that IT had upon you and look for the lessons within. Your strength goes far beyond this. You have asked for difficult times “because” you are strong enough to overcome them. You are an advanced soul who decided that this traumatic event was necessary for a vast amount of growth. You had faith in your ability to move to the head of the class.

Your secrets only fester when hidden. They may grow out of proportion and threaten to consume you. Please don’t allow this to happen. Talk to someone. Journal. Pray. The next time IT jumps forward, see what it is an accept that IT is a part of you. Without this experience you wouldn’t be who you are today.

Anxiety and depression may need treatment. With help, you may be able to confront your problems and set them aside so you may lead a successful, productive life. You will no longer settle for a lesser existence. You may wear your experiences with strength and pride. In time, you may just relax and understand that soul growth requires expansion and knowledge. You have overcome many things and these secrets are not going to hold you down.

In God’s world, you will be better able to help others. When someone suffers from the same or similar instances, you may respond with empathy and understanding. Your difficult times may be a preparation for supporting others in a meaningful, confident way. This is as God would have it. Amen.

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