Grief on Any Occasion

Grief on any occasion. What does that mean?

Grief comes at many different times in life and sometimes it overlaps.

In my life a co-worker’s mother has passed, our supervisor has resigned and my available cash has been seriously depleted.

I am grieving all of this. Grief isn’t just isolated to someone dying. There are many instances we grieve and we might not even realize it. And, grief is present in layers.

It is like one large pool of emotional pain. Any loss or change may stir up the calm. If I hadn’t yet settled my grief about my mother dying then my father’s passing may be more painful. Then, the loss of an elderly aunt or uncle would compound my grief and feed into more emotional pain. 

The pool builds and if we don’t settle our feelings of loss or change then emotion about seemingly innocuous things may swell out of proportion.

A co-worker suffered the loss of her ex-husband 1 year ago and now she is coping with the pending loss of our supervisor. Does this affect how she is handling everything on her plate today? Yes!

The pool had not settled completely after her loss 1 year ago, so the emotion about this current loss is out of proportion. She was on good terms with her ex-husband and they share two daughters together. His loss was painful to her and made much of her own future change dramatically.

Now, she is grasping for understanding. She knows our supervisor has very good reasons to leave but she wants things to remain unchanged. Her perspective about this resignation is purely from her point of view. Why? Because it is yet another loss for her to cope with. Her behavior appears like, “I understand that you are leaving but will I be okay?” She has not realized that the center of all of our attention should be our supervisor, not ourselves. 

Had she settled her grief pool more completely she would have a more stable base from which to view this loss at work. 

What is the answer to coping with loss and change? FAITH!

A loved one dying is actually a journey back home. They finished their charts here and it is a time to celebrate and proceed back to a higher plane. It is a blessing.

Losing a job causes you to review your life and to decide what is important and what you may have to live without.

A diagnosis of cancer is an opportunity to teach yourself and others about faith and hope. Decisions are made about what treatment to include and everyone learns from your experience. If the outcome is remission then we learn to praise God and bolster our faith. If the outcome is something more somber then we also have an opportunity to strengthen our faith and use the lessons learned in our own lives and the lives of the people still here. We are more prepared for the next person to be diagnosed with cancer.

A loss of a home causes us to be more resilient and creative about how to meet our needs and the needs of our family. This may be an opportunity to move to a better location and seek a more stable financial situation.

Bankruptcy teaches us to be more proactive about our finances and to plan more effectively for the income that we have. It is an ongoing lesson because the implications will affect our lives for years.

Tuition debt will push us to be receptive to job opportunities that we may have not considered otherwise. We may want to start our own business or manage our funds more effectively. We may seek to have more than one job or invest in something new. Imagine how resourceful you would have to be when faced with an outstanding debt of thousands of dollars?

Life is a series of learning experiences. Our goal is to look at everything with a positive perspective and to always remember we are One with God. This incarnation is fleeting in the totality of our soul life. Our challenge is to take all of our experinces and learn from them.

If we don’t learn the first time we encounter a certain set of circumstances then we will experience the same thing over and over until we do achieve our goals. Then, we move on to another learning experience. Some lessons occur at the same time. Or, we are met with many lessons in quick succession. Other times we experience slow growth or desert periods.

This life we are now living is NOT all that there is. This is a profound truth that affects our lives but also how we experience other peoples lives as well.

It is much easier to lose a loved one when you know that they have gone home and the celebration for them has just begun. They are surrounded by love and are able to reconnect with us more easily.  They have every opportunity to be at peace. Isn’t that what we would want for them anyway? Absolutely!

The grief pool would be small and manageable because we would no longer store feelings of loss and regret when a loved one dies and we would take a positive perspective toward any situation we are met with, good or bad. 

You would meet each day as your genuine self. You would not fear loss or change any longer. Your view on life would be of hope and prosperity. You may meet each challenge by standing steadfast and being fully prepared.

How beautiful could life be without fear?

Shrug off the cloud of grief. Live in the moment and allow yourself to experience the wonder of this earth life completely. Learn your lessons and go home.



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  • Teri Karl  On October 5, 2012 at 2:38 pm

    Reblogged this on A Moment in Life and commented:
    This is a beautiful post that summarizes a lot of what I’ve been reading and learning about lately. Our challenges are part of our experience here. They are lessons to learn before we go. We do not need fear. And our sorrow can transform to light!

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