When Love Isn’t Enough

There are people in our lives who harm us either by intention or without intent. Either way, it is still harm. How do we decide what to do? Do we speak to them and voice our feelings? Do we not say anything and just put up with it? Or, do we systematically push them further away from us?

This is a decision that each of us may only make for ourselves. We decide how people treat us. Some of us have underlying issues and we may keep the abusive person because we believe that we deserve to be disrespected.

Look at each situation. Decide how to proceed. Make adjustments to the relationship toward achieving that change. Some people are very close to us. We may not wish to cut off a relationship with a father or sister but may be more willing to distance ourselves from a co-worker.

List each person separately. Define each relationship such as how close they are to you and how severely they wound you. List the pros and cons of each relationship. Decide how best to proceed with each individual.

The close relationships are probably worth keeping. Make time to speak about how you feel and what you would like to change between you. Make sure to state how important it is the relationship change so that you no longer feel put-down or belittled.

The people who are not so close to you may be addressed by simply limiting the amount of time that you spend with them. Excuse yourself if you start to feel bad about what is being said or done. Always have an excuse ready to get out of those unhealthy interactions.

Those who you are not able to stay away from may be handled by simply letting go. Do not engage in harmful discussions and quickly dismiss what is being said or done with the intention of hurting you. Wrap it up and let it go. When you leave the encounter flush your being with White Light. Sing your own praises to yourself and get on with your day!

Some abusers will tire of not getting a sufficient reaction from you. They will lose interest if you do not react with sufficient upset. Hopefully they will limit their own contact with you because it does not feed their need to harm someone.

If the abuser is someone who you are in a romantic relationship with then are there are many more issues at work. There is a significant lack of self-esteem and perhaps overriding feelings of helplessness. In this case there are no quick fixes. Counseling would be a great idea to start. Beware that the abuser will likely react negatively to your seeking help. They may increase the stakes against you and make every effort to regain control over you again.

Do not look for a rescuer! There are people who look for abused individuals just so that they may intervene and save the abused partner. These people are just as enmeshed in abuse as the person who you are trying to escape. This is an unhealthy cycle. To ensure your successful recovery you need to seek an appropriate exit that places an emphasis upon your overall well-being.

This is a small sampling of instances. We will speak more about this is the near future. Just know that this is a start. Look objectively at the people in your life. Decide what you are willing to endure and what is truly unacceptable. Try your best to not be the victim in anyone’s dysfunction.

Once you view your relationships objectively, we will know where to take the next step. Look forward to healthy and uplifting relationships.

We will look more closely at your ability to want what is healthy and also who has alterior motives and darker needs.

Find love in every moment of every day,

Evelyn

 

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