More About Grief

Grief is truly a popular subject on this blog. Many people resonate with some of what has been presented. Others find this point of view foreign. Our community is made up of many differing souls. We all experience loss and we each have our own way of dealing with it.

Have you considered the other forms of loss? There are many and they may easily overlap. The difficult aspect about grief is that it layers upon itself. Your many losses stack one upon the other and cause you to feel blanketed by sadness.

The loss of a grandparent may be early on. Then the loss of your home life when you move out and become more independent. Then the grief of aging another year. Then the grief of being diagnosed with a medical illness…If we don’t deal with each loss when it occurs then it will build upon all of your grief and overwhelm you.

When you cry for no apparent reason, that is grief. It moves silently behind the scenes until your reserves are low, then it presents itself suddenly. You find yourself missing someone or sad about a loss in your everyday life.

To focus upon each loss when it occurs, at least partially, will minimize the amount of grief that you have stored in your subconscious.

When someone dies your response has everything to do with what you believe about where we all go after death.  If you believe in the afterlife, then your grief is manageable. You take comfort in the fact that your loved one exists somewhere and that you will see them again. If you feel that death is the end of everything, then your grief will take longer to come to grips with. A loss will feel like a total loss, for eternity.

Other losses include losing a home, losing a job, moving away from family, a permanent injury, aging, a long-standing illness, a divorce, a child leaving home, retirement, a heart attack, Alzheimer’s…

The first step is to acknowledge your loss. Cope with it at the time and try not to allow it to become stagnant. Look for the best outcome of what you have gone through. Take into account any lessons that you have learned. Be objective about any positives that have come about.

Most importantly, have faith. We all go through some difficult times but it is how you cope that decides the outcome. True strength is built, not luck. 

Appreciate who you are. Acknowledge that it is the troubles times that build your character. As you mature, your coping improves because you have dealt with many difficult times and weathered them all. You’ve faced many more losses as you age and you have realized that you have survived all of it.

In fact, with maturity you may guide others on the road through grief and teach much of what you learned by experiencing it for yourself. Every day you have gained knowledge about living. Give yourself credit for the journey that you are on. You are successful. You are wiser and have more insight into what life does to a person.

Remember that your loved ones are never far away. Seek the solace of knowing that there is life after death and it truly is a celebration when we return Home. Any encounter with spirit reinforces that fact. You may say for certain that your grandmother was sitting at your bedside. If all life ends after death then how could that be true? 

Listen to your heart. Touch upon your soul. Every piece of life on earth is renewable. Energy does not cease to exist and we are composed of energy. Just as the seasons change so does the physicality of our human lives. 

Love is what we may cling to during times of loss. Remember the love you shared. Remember the love of a home now lost. Cherish the love of a child who is now living on their own. Reminisce about the love you shared with a grandfather now suffering from Alzheimer’s.

Circumstance may have changed but the loving imprint never fades.

Grief makes your heart stronger and more resilient,

Evelyn

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