You asked to be challenged and frustrated. The goals are solid and in alignment with the intentions of God but the path is riddled with contrast. This is life. You started reading these posts to fulfill some need for spiritual answers. This was a good step. Then, you decided that things seemed too difficult. Your intentions are good but your commitment is lacking. This seems like part of the goal is being met. You think, desire and plan to make positive changes to your life as this is what is right about this discussion. Give yourself some credit for being here and wanting to be a better person.
Now, don’t overwhelm yourself with ideas of what your devotion to others will be. No one asked you to give it all away. No one expected you to live in substandard housing and donate much of your income to sheltering the homeless. You are over-reacting. Do your part. A little here and a little more there. Nothing life-altering.
It is likely that you are not at the same spiritual level as Mother Teresa. She gave more to others than she ever kept for herself. This was her choice. She charted a life of sacrifice and service to the needy and sick. This is certainly not you. Relax and put your life back into perspective. Release your anxiety about sacrifice and be reasonable about what level of commitment that you may have charted.
Keep your profession and look for small ways that you may help others in your community. This is so simple. You may stay anonymous if you wish. Donate clothes, dishes, shoes, building materials, linens, books, food… money, time, meal preparation, childcare, advertising… drive for a senior meal program, teach classes, start a support group, organize fund raising… Be creative and share some of what you love with others.
Don’t overwhelm yourself because this may lead you to walk away altogether. Start small and stay small of you wish. Charity may be something that you do on the side. Relax. If you meet all of Our direction with stress and fear, there will be little to gain from Our teachings. We are gentle and offer you guidance. We love you deeply and We only hope to bring you closer to God.
Your anxiety is not productive and it has stalled Our efforts to enlighten you. Please relax and keep your perspective. Let Us move forward and begin some new lessons together. We have much to teach you and time is precious.